On any given day you could find me glued to my Grandparents black and white watching shows like, Gilligans Island, Bewitched, Romper Room, on and on and on, AND, as an added bonus, I could sing all of the theme songs word for word, on cue, and with delight, for anyone who seemed even remotely interested, and those who were not.  Now the churched preached against that 'ol devil's box, that one eyed demon was surely going to split the very pits of hell, however, apparently my ever so strong headed Dutch/German Grandfather had not gotten the memo.  My parents also had a television due to the fact that neither one of them were in the church at the time.  I can remember so vividly my mother picking me up from my grandparents after she got off work, rushing home, rushing into the house and turninig on the telly just in time for Star Trek, this was followed by the Tom Jones Show.  I would sit mesmerised by his dancing abilities and the pretty ladies dancing around him, my mother on the other hand was mesmerised by the gold chain lying in a field of chest hair and Tom's open to waist silk shirt.

I was a strange child, content to stay indoors, talking to myself in the mirror, making myself cry, admiring the tears as they rolled down my cheeks.  I had a little imaginery friend who lived behind the headboard of my bed, we talked nightly, but that was the extent of my social contact.  I remember once my mother picking me up, setting me on the back porch and telling me, "You are going to get out of the house and play"!  I had never been in our backyard alone and I did not know what to do.  I saw monsters behind every bush and tree, I was paralyzed by fear, sitting there on the stoop crying.  I guess this is why my parents decided to enroll me in that God awful, horrible, torturous place called "Kiddie Kollege". 

I HATED Kiddie Kollege!  I cried every single day when my parents or grandparents took me there.  Didn't they understand that I was a complicated child who needed to be alone to hone her table dancing and theme song singing skills?  I didn't want to be here with these dirty children with their runny noses and soiled diapers!  I was of better stock than that!  They didn't really care about my protests, so every day, off I went to my personal hell.  The only things that kept my sanity intact were the early morning dance hour where I would show off my profound abilities, peeking to see if the teachers were watching me.  Usually, they were.  That, and lunch time where I would be served spaghettios with sliced cheese!  Heaven!  To this day I love that!  And everyday I asked when my mommy and daddy were coming and every day they told me the same time, and everyday, I went home, to Tom and his swivelling hips.

As time went on I noticed a change in my parents.  I would lie in the living room floor and hear my grandma and my mother talk.  My grandma was telling my mom that she and my dad needed to go back to church, that I needed to be in church.  I remember one day so vividly laying on my tummy watching television, but I wasn't watching, I was listening, to them.  My childish mind began to think of spiritual things, things I could not comprehend, but I knew that something was missing in our lives.  Something was afoot and if it had anything to do with the removal of the big black and white" boxes from our living room, I was having none of it!  And for good measure I attempted to take a drag from one of my dad's unlit cigarettes to prove just how much of a rebel I was.  It was unlit thankfully,  unfortunately however, my behind WAS......